Questions that guys are thinking… Fatherhood
This year The Genesis Man Project will be starting a few new segments. “Questions that guys are thinking...” is an effort to tackle some tough topics with responses from people who have gone through or are going through similar situations. Let’s create and encourage a community of discussion.
Question
“My spouse and I are separated and we have two young children. I’m having some challenges parenting. Is it possible to still be a good father in my situation, and how can I do this? Is there anyone that you know who has been here that might have some experience to share?”
Response
Ok my brother. I’ve experienced some of these challenges. First of all, if you haven’t done it yet, get on the same page about not talking about the other parent by slandering their name. It will make things smoother for the both of you.
Secondly, if you both don’t teach your children together, the next step I took was to find out what the children needed to learn in school that I could help with. I realized my daughters couldn’t pronounce simple words; they didn’t know what syllables were and they didn’t know their times tables. I started to drill them with exercises to get them up to speed to let them know that their dad wants them to do well in society. They remember all those things to this day.
Thirdly, if you get them every other week, then set aside one hour on the weekend to pour into them as much as you can. Make it fun.
REMEMBER that a father can help mightily with building a child’s self-esteem. As a father, you can encourage and put them on the right track. My daughter had a problem with her looks, “My friend said my forehead is too big”, she told me. I asked her what will you do about it? Will you build a device to try and shrink it? “I never thought about it that way Daddy.” “You get your forehead from me,” I told her. “Honey, just look in the mirror and love yourself. Keep telling yourself you are special. Say that I’m unique and wonderfully made. Now hug yourself until you fully accept the person in the mirror.” That helped her a lot at that time up until now.
As a spiritual leader, I prayed for their mother even though we didn’t speak often. I prayed for God to give her strength at work. I prayed for her safety at work and on the roads. I prayed for guidance in this tough world. The girls heard me praying and came and knelt down with me. They told her that daddy prayed for you today. As a result, we toned down the arguments between us and she also became more merciful towards me if I was late with child support payment.
It is very possible to be a good father. YOU CAN DO IT…
Harry Cole
Let’s talk about it some more…
If you would like to join the conversation, please leave a comment and/or contact information below with a message.
The Genesis Man Project 