2025 National Men’s Retreat
Cornwall, ON
Israel Harriott
National Men’s Director | COGOP Eastern Canada
Date: Saturday October 1, 2025
Men & Young Men’s Alliance
(COGOP Men’s Ministry in Eastern Canada)
Vision:
Discovering and aspiring towards a lifestyle of authentic masculinity
Mission:
Living out and living in the masculine identity by exploring and understanding the ideas of “Reason, Roles & Relationship” in Genesis chapter 2.
National Theme:
Aspiring Towards a Job-like Engagement
Today’s GPS Setting
This Men’s Minstry Session Elective finds its foundation from my personal initiatives with the Men’s Ministry and the Men and Young Men’s Alliance (COGOP’s Men’s Ministry), its application is inclusive to both men, women with the focus on boys, girls and young men and women.
My focus of this elective will be on how we as men, parents, mentors and adults can find specific and intentional ways and ideas to engage with the boys, girls and young people in our spheres of influence.
Engagement Activities | Outline
Below are various engagement activities and ideas for both male and female youth. We will discuss this during Part Two of the session.
Engagement Initiatives for men with sons (and male mentors/ family members) as envisioned by National Men’s Ministry…
- Rites of Passages
- Passport 2 Purity | Focus on the Family (available for son or daughter)
- Youth Ceremonies
- Mentorship
My Personal Engagement Initiatives for daughters
- New Year’s Letters * (Read blog)
- First Date (13 years old)
- Identity Journal
*Have been used for both my son & daughters
Thank you for attending this session. I welcome your feedback and your thoughts. Please feel free to browse through the websites and share as you wish.
National Men’s Director Easter Canada | Men and Young Men’s Alliance
Opening Discussion
Let me start by identifying what the goal is for this session, and introduce this idea through a hilarious song I stumbled upon a while back called “A Boy Named Sue”. (You can access the blog link below.)
Goal: By taking the time to listen to this song we can begin to discuss why my session about engagement with our youth is both important and valuable.
“A Boy Named Sue”
What kind of impact can an absent father have on his son’s life? Let’s explore this through this story.
(Read the Blog about this song)
Johnny Cash* played at Folsum Prison January 9, 1958. (He also did many more prison concerts.)
YouTube Audio (Listen to the song here)
*This photo can be found at the California State Library website.
Lyrics to “A Boy Named Sue”
Well, my daddy left home when I was three
Didn’t leave very much to my mom and me
Except this old guitar and an empty bottle of booze
Now I don’t blame him ’cause he run and hid
But the meanest thing that my daddy ever did
Was before he left, he went and named me Sue
Well, he must’ve thought that it was quite a joke
And I got a lot of laughs from a lots of folk
Seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some gal would giggle and I’d turn red
And some guy’d laugh and I’d bust his head
I tell you, life ain’t easy for a boy named Sue
But I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My fist got hard and my wits got keener
Roam from town to town to hide my shame
But I made me a vow to the moon and stars
I’d search the honky tonks and bars
And kill that man that gave me that awful name
Well, it was Gatlinburg in mid-July
And I just hit town and my throat was dry
Thought I’d stop and have myself a brew
At an old saloon on a street of mud
There at a table, dealing stud
Sat the dirty, mangy dog that named me Sue
Well, I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn out picture that my mother had
Knew that scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said, “My name is Sue, how do you do?
Now you gonna die”, that’s what I told him
Well, I hit him hard right between the eyes
And he went down, but to my surprise
He come up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
Then I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the walls and into the street
Kicking and a-gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer
Well, I tell you, I’ve fought tougher men
But I really can’t remember when
He kicked like a mule and he bit like a crocodile
Well, I heard him laugh and then I heard him cuss
And he reached for his gun but I pulled mine first
He stood there lookin’ at me and I saw him smile
And he said, “Son, this world is rough
And if a man’s gonna make it, he’s gotta be tough
I knew I wouldn’t be there to help you along
So I give you that name, and I said goodbye
And I knew you’d have to get tough or die
It’s that name that helped to make you strong”
He said, “Now you just fought one heck of a fight
And I know you hate me, and you got the right to kill me now
And I wouldn’t blame you if you do
But you ought to thank me, before I die
For the gravel in ya gut and the spit in ya eye
‘Cause I’m the son of a — that named you Sue”
What could I do?
Well, I got all choked up and I threw down my gun
I called him my pa, and he called me his son
Come away with a different point of view
And I think about him, now and then
Every time I try and every time I win, and if I ever have a-
Well, if I ever have a boy, I’ll name him
Frank or George or Bill or Tom, anything but Sue
I don’t want him go around, man call him Sue all his life
That’s a horrible thing to do to a boy trying to get a hold in the world
Named a boy a Sue
Discussion Questions
- What do you think of the song?
- How does the man feel about his father at the beginning and at the end of the story?
- How did he influence the son’s life?
- What was the reason for naming his son Sue?
- Do you think that it was a positive or negative influence?
- Was this a good-intentioned bad idea?
The Punchline
“If I ever had a son, I think I’m going to name him…Bill or George -anything but Sue!!”
This is the biggest laugh at the end, considering all that we’ve gone through in the narrative journey of the story. However, I’ve just come to realize the deep, significant message of this final comment…
- There are less harsher ways of teaching.
- There are more loving ways of influencing.
- The irony of the song is that Johnny Cash performed it at a number of men’s prisons. It would be a reasonable assumption that many of those men likely may have experienced the lack of father figure influence in their lives.
Why is Engagement So Important?
Why is engagment so important? Why did Job “send, santified, and sacrificed” for his sons?
Job 1:5 KJV
[5] And it was so, when the days of their feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings according to the number of them all: for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually.
2024 Retreat – It’s Impact…
Last year’s Retreat was a session that was very powerful and impactful. It moved me so much that I stayed in contact with four of the people involved and we are working on a new initiative called “Reaching Young Men.”
Journey Stories
Von Bosh
Daniel Cole
Interview Questions
-Who are you?
-Where are you coming from?
-Struggles and challenges?
-What was missing?
-Where are you right now?
-How young men can be reached
ENGAGEMENT INITIATIVES
The remainder of the session will be an opportunity to share ideas and examples of different ways we as adults (especially men) can intentionally engage in the lives of our youth. This might not be the “norm”, but I do believe it is moving in a good direction.
Rite of Passages
Rite of Passage (Read the Blog)
- What is it?
- Why is it important?
- My Rite of Passage story with my son…
- Questions?
Passport 2 Purity
- What is it?
- Why is it important?
- My Passport 2 Purity story with my son…
- Questions?
Ceremonies
- What is it?
- Why is it important?
- My story Ceremony story with my son…
- Questions?
Mentorship
A Place of Mentorship (Read the blog)
The website above introduces the idea of mentorship as I reflect on growing up at my local church. However, James Morgan and I developed a Mentorship/ Life Coach Program that I have used with various young men. It is still a work in progress and I will be organizing this information at a later date through the Genesis Man Website.
Personal Engagement Initiatives
I have three daughters, and I thought you should know that I have not forgotten about them! The role of a father is of course also essential in the life of girls. Although I haven’t as yet included these ideas in the Genesis Man website, it is something that I intend to do. Below are Engagement Initiatives that I have done with all three of my daughters.
New Year’s Letters * (Read blog)
This is something that is done that includes my son and my wife, but I especially like to focus on my daughters. The words from a father are important, so I take the time to write a letter to them every New Year. When my daughters were younger I also bought them journals to regularly write to them and give them a chance to write back. You can access the blog post above to go into more details.
*Used for both my son & daughters
First Date
I have taken out all three of my daughters after each turned 13. My reasoning is that their first real date should be with someone who cares and appreciates them. Furthurmore, I want to set the standard as to what a gentleman should be like.
We take this opportunity to go all out and get dressed up. Flowers are a must, and we may go to nice restaurants and sometimes an event.
Identity Journal
Through my study of the Old Testament character Gideon, I was able to put together an “Identity Journal”. With all three of my daughters, I’ve taken the time to help them discover their identities through the journal sessions, their reflections and our discussions.
This Identity Journal is based on the story of Gideon found in Judges 6, and it examines various aspects and steps that he took to reach his true identity as a “Mighty Man of Valour”.
Essentially, this is a Bible study that allows discussion, reflection and doodling! I also took the opportunity to personalize the journal by including photos of each of my daughters.
I intend to make this resource available in the future, however the link below will give an idea as to how it looks. Please contact me (see below) if you are interested in using this. (It can be used for both males and females).
CONCLUSION
The Challenge (Men)
The challenge that I’ve found is getting men to engage with these initiatives. I believe that it can be uncomfortable “putting yourself out there”, especially trying something new. This isn’t typically what Men’s Ministries do, but this arguably is our most important task of the Biblical masculine identity.
The Ask (Women)
It is clear to me that we as men’s leaders need to build alliances with women. I’m asking women to ally with us and encourage and gently push their men towards these Engagement Initiatives.
The Belief
These Engagement Initiatives are transformational at the least, or at the most positive momentary milestone. Personally, I believe that the reason it is a challenge to get men engaged is because the very nature of this potential must really scare our spiritual enemies. The possibility of profoundly producing a significant impact that reverberates into the future is amazing!
RESOURCES
- Blog Post – A Boy Named Sue
- Rite of Passages
- Passport 2 Purity
- Ceremonies
- Mentorship (Introduction Article)
- Life Coach Mentorship Program site is still being organized
- Genesis Man Book
The Genesis Man Project 