Another important aspect of building and sharing identity is through a Rite of Passage. These are things that are not often done intentionally especially in our Western Culture. I’ve often pondered if I could identify the time when I actually became a man. I can’t really, it seemed very gradual. Now, that may not be a terrible thing, but it didn’t fill me with confidence. One day I woke up and looked around and saw that I had a wife, a family and a mortgage. It just seemed that I got to manhood with my eyes closed.
A rite of passage should be an intentional event that helps a child clearly know that he is venturing into the territory of “young manhood”. As a cautionary note it should never be only a test that results in a ‘pass’ or ‘fail’ event, but rather about ensuring a positive and recognizable experience that can help to anchor and mark transition into young adulthood. It should be designed with the greatest care to and balance to allow for the ultimate goal of success with some challenge.
With my son I decided to create a very intentional event. The month that he was turning 10 years old, I gave him the challenge of sleeping in the back-yard treehouse overnight by himself. We made preparations for things he would need. We also spent time leading up to this in much conversation and reflection. He would be equipped with a journal and my intention was to give him a copy of the junior version of “Great Expectation”. (Charles Dickens)
Full disclosure, I did sleep in the living room…just in case of emergency… However, apart from being attacked by a bird early in the morning, I would say that the experience was a success. Some time after this I gave him the opportunity to share his experience at our church.
I’m in the process of putting together a Rite of Passage program. Below are my areas of focus.
The Goals of a Rite of Passage…
- Develop confidence & security
- Develop an awareness of wisdom & righteousness
- Understand the principles of manhood
- Act responsibly
- Experience an awareness/event of change/ passage to manhood
Topics of Consideration and Reflection…
1. Responsibility
- Completing chores
- Being aware and responsible for personal actions
- Taking care of others
2. Sexual Integrity/ Purity
- How your body works
- Purity in thinking
- Celibacy until marriage
3. Foundation on the Word
- Words from Proverbs and the pursuit of wisdom & righteousness
Writing and journaling are very important in this process. It gives one an opportunity to put thoughts into action and clarify thinking. Below are topics that are essential to one’s masculine identity and the development of maturity.
Reflection Journal Topics
What is a man?
How do you feel about your father?
What’s your biggest fear?
What’s your greatest strength?
What do you think?
Email me your thoughts about rites of passages. What have you experienced? Do you plan to do one with your child? Do you have any questions?
Attach links and articles that you have found useful. Be sure to summarize what the article is about and how it has helped you.
(Go to the next page to see links and articles shared by our community…)
For Further Discussion
By the way, what does Alien vs Predator have to do with rite of passages? Go to this Blog post and experience a preview of a portion of the Genesis Man book…
The Genesis Man Project 